I’m at a place I thought I might never reach… Okay, that’s not completely true, I knew I’d get here someday it just seemed like that someday might come after I had already gone, but it hasn’t.
I’ve started a chapter of my life that feels organic and un-hurried. It took nearly 23 years to get to this point – which felt like an eternity, but compared to some who never get here it can seem relatively quick.
I’m changed. The process of change that started in 2005 and peaked in 2008 has finally come to an end. I can now recognize that I am completely the person I set out to be 5 years ago… I only wish I could say the same for the few in my life that seem to have come to a standstill.
Before I write the next few sentences I feel like I should foreword these statements with a disclaimer. I’m not saying what I’m about to say because I’m angry at you, or because pointing this out makes me feel better in anyway, I’m simply stating what I’ve observed and sharing it with anyone that can take anything from this blog.
Changing your attitude doesn’t change your character. Though your sharp tongue makes a sufficient battle axe against new possible threats to you, it doesn’t do much to combat those that knew you before you developed it. Behind your barbed-wire mouth you’re still the same girl that would rather sacrifice her identity for the love of the person that is stealing it from you. After all this time, you still don’t have that one thing that YOU do. …unless you count traveling to be with people your hobby. I hope one day you can become your own person, and not just a lap dog that can pay her own bills. Obviously there is a difference.
There was another person I would have considered adding to this list, but upon rethinking it I realized that this said person is actually igniting the change she wants to see in her life, so all I can really say is I am behind you 110% whenever you need me, be it as a friend or whatever else. Disneyland soon, please? <3
Tags: growth, reflection
